Tomorrow we all hope to live through another Turkey/Tofurkey dinner. Now, most of us have lived through three types of Thanksgiving meals: 1) boring ones; 2) family-drama ones, and 3) just plain weird/random/exciting ones. Now ask yourself, aren’t the ones that fit into category #3, the ones you remember!? Well, that’s why we at Storitz have compiled the list of 5 Guys you Definitely Want at your Thanksgiving table to inject weirdness, randomness, and excitement to your Thanksgiving meal:
1. RDJ – Robert Downey Jr. Let’s be honest, he was a darling when it was Less Than Zero and 1986. But he had a pretty rocky time in the 1990’s. Now, post-Ironman, he’s cool again. And what makes your TG dinner good is controversy. So, bring it on, Tony Stark.
2. Nicholas Cage – This is not because we like him, it’s really just because he’s gonna mess it up in a very memorable way. Thanks in advance for the memories, Nick. We know you’ve had your troubles, so don’t worry, we’ll cover the tab this year. Oh, and if you need self-storage, we’ll give you the $20 cash back rebate that is normally reserved for college students. See you at dinner!
3. David Stern – We all want to know the REAL story, and why there is no basketball until at least Christmas. David, you have a seat at the table. But hey, if you can spend your time negotiating a deal between the Owners and Players, you may be excused, this year. Next year, you’re eating turkey with us. And if the season is shelved, we thinks there must be a need for storage in every NBA Championship Town across the country.
4. Silvio Berlusconi – Umm, more stories from your villa on the hilla in the Lake District. Yes, we ‘Mer-uh-kans want to know all the details. If you need to consolidate your office belongings now that you’re no longer the most powerful man in Italy, ping us at Storitz, we’ve got some really cheap storage in New Jersey for you.
5. Ben Roethlisberger – Let’s be honest, this is one paradoxical and controversial guy. What was that about using your friends to block-off the back of the bar-restaurant? Well, yes, you’re a Superbowl veteran/Champion since you’ve been with Pittsburgh, thank you.