Do me a favor, for your own good, put your name in your books right now before they get mixed up and you won’t know whose is whose. ‘Cause someday, believe it or not, you’ll go 15 rounds over who’s gonna get this coffee table. This stupid, wagon wheel, Roy Rogers, garage sale COFFEE TABLE. – When Harry Met Sally
Valentine’s Day is right around the corner (it’s today, actually!) so you’re probably seeing a lot of blogs about what to buy your Valentine or where to make reservations (dude, you have done that yet? Yikes. Better get to it). But frankly, if you’re not easily swayed by holidays with no basis in anything but increasing the sales of greeting cards (and eventually flowers, candy and Korbel), you might find the whole exercise actually sours you on your relationship. And what better day to dump that dead weight than February 14th? Good news, affordable self storage can help you sort things before and after the big day (the big day being the day you break up).
1. Pre-breakup, pack up the stuff you don’t want her to trash
Maybe you’re blindsiding your soon-to-be-ex by dumping her (especially on Valentine’s Day, jerk). Maybe you know her to be somewhat…volatile. Is there a chance she’ll take a lighter to your Playboy collection? Or a pair of scissors to your high school track shirts? Better safe than sorry: put your things that are in danger of being destroyed in secure self storage before you drop the bomb.
2. Moving out & Moving On
So you were already co-habitating, huh? Ouch. It’s going to take a little time to find a place of your own which might mean more than a night or two couch surfing among your single or sympathetic coupled friends. But you can bet your former flame isn’t going to want your stuff sticking around after your gone, making this an ideal situation for short term self storage. The couch from your mancave, the custom built doghouse that you spent last Valentine’s Day assembling, the shoebox of loveletter from your high school girlfriend – simple enough to stack these things up in an easily accessible storage unit until you’re back on your feet.
3. Out of Sight, Out of Mind, Out of Reach
Maybe you’re actually the one who got dumped, or maybe it’s hurting a little more than you thought it would. Either way, a storage unit is a great place to pack away those memories you just can’t stand to deal with right now. Vacation photos, mementos, gifts, the engagement ring you haven’t had a chance to pawn yet. Out of sight, out of mind in convenient self storage until you can stand to look at them. Certainly a better choice than tossing everything in the dumpster. Who knows, you might still get back together! (Don’t).
4. Divide Yourselves Before You Divide Your Stuff
If you were living together for a while, there might be some jointly purchased items that will take time to disentangle. Book collections, wagon wheel coffee tables, that extensive display of sock puppets that you worked on for years – they’re all going to have to be divvied up. But it might not be the best idea to do that when your only objective is to get your belatedly beloved out of your sight as fast as possible, because you know who’s going to win in that situation and it sure it’s the sock puppets. You might as well put these shared “assets” in storage while you cool off.
Everyone knows that breaking up is hard to do, but renting storage might prevent that ritual post-breakup bonfire that always leads to regret. Also, I should have an advice column. I’m obviously very wise. Leave your tips for a clean break in the comments.