Storitz Presents: Our 2011 Oscar Predictions

Academy Award Winnerphoto © 2009 Davidlohr Bueso | more info (via: Wylio)

On Sunday, the 83rd Annual Academy Awards will descend on the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood.  Being based in Los Angeles, Storitz can’t very well ignore the ceremony, if for no other reason than the annoying traffic it causes (on a Sunday!)  So we thought that today we could bring you some storage-related predictions and commentary about the Oscars.

Best Picture: Toy Story 3.

The conclusion to the classic kid’s series was a total tearjerker and it would be an awesome acknowledgment of its contribution to give it the Oscar.  And you know what else?  Self storage is a great place to put your kids toys that they don’t play with anymore.  Until they can give them to a neighbor kid who will take good care of them, of course.  But whatever you do, don’t donate them to a daycare!

Best Actor: James Franco, 127 Hours.

James Franco is superhuman.  In addition to being an Academy Award nominate actor, he is also co-hosting the Oscars (with Anne Hathaway), he earned an undergraduate degree from UCLA while still acting, and then proceeded to get an MFA from Columbia while concurrently studying filmmaking at NYU and is currently a PhD candidate in English at Yale, he published a book of short stories called Palo Alto and later this year he will star in a Broadway play opposite Nicole Kidman.  Obviously his brain doesn’t need any more storage space (it is apparently limitless) but he could probably use a place to put all those degrees.

Best ActressNatalie Portman, Black Swan

I’m not sure I had ever heard the term “psychosexual thriller” before Black Swan, but it is a pretty accurate description of the genre of the ballet movie where Natalie’s ballerina character took a real turn for the worst as she lost her grip on reality.  Now the lovely hipster object of affection has gone and gotten herself pregnant with a little half-French all gorgeous baby.  She & her choreographer fiance might want to put some of their “psychosexual” memorabilia in a Los Angeles area storage unit when the little one gets here.

Best Director: David Fincher, The Social Network.

Despite being constantly cited as genius by men of a certain age thanks to his work directing Fight Club, Fincher has never won an Oscar for directing.  But this year’s collaboration with writer Aaron Sorkin could easily get him his first one.  We all know what he would keep in a storage unit.  Gwyneth Paltrow‘s head.  That’s all I’ll say.

Those are the Storitz predictions for the big categories.  Check back on Monday to see if I was right about even a single one!

Who do you think will win?  Predict away in the comments!

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