photo © 2010 Joseph V. Murray, Jr. | more info (via: Wylio)
There’s been a lot of talk about horoscopes on the internet lately, thanks to the Minnesota Planetarium Society who told everyone how the stars had moved and therefore their astrological sign wasn’t what they had been telling cheesy guys at bars for all these years after all. There was much hemming and hawing and gnashing of teeth. We here at Storitz don’t deign to know who was born under what sign, but we would love to take wildly speculative shots at what kind of storage said signs would want. So here we go with
Storitz Presents: Your Self Storage Horoscope
Capricorn: December 22- January 19
Capricorns are known to be dependable, serious and organized. Strikingly, all those words could also be used to describe a good self storage facility (ok, maybe not “serious” per se, but taking their business and their customers seriously). Capricorns might be drawn to a climate controlled because all of their serious things need to be stored safely and reliably. Seriously.
Aquarius: January 20-December 19
Aquarians are known to be strong-willed, logical and independent. These traits would make them perfect for RV storage, since they will no doubt have experienced, at some time in their life, the urge to hit the open road for a while and want to be ready when it strikes again.
Pisces: February 19-March 20
Pisces are thought to be caring, popular and show great concern for others. So it wouldn’t be surprising to find them storing a lot of things for their friends and also wanting to make sure that their friends’ stuff is secure. So it would only make sense that they would choose a storage unit with the most security features: not only surveillance cameras and gate codes but individual alarmed units and maybe even barbed wire.
Aries: March 21-April 19
Aries are thought to be aggressive, impatient, energetic and uncompromising. They want what they want and they want it now and they will get it. If a good deal on storage is what they’re looking for, they’re going to pick the closest facility (which is easy to find on Storitz) that has 24 hour access because an Aries will not be stopped when she needs to get to her stuff.
Taurus: April 20-May 20
A Taurus is peaceful and makes good choices. He is a dependable friend who is easygoing and quiet. A Taurus wouldn’t have a problem renting a second floor unit. Or more likely, renting a second floor unit for his friend and then helping her carry all of her things up to the second floor and load them in, and then buying her lunch. Taurus’ are good like that.
Gemini: May 21-June 20
Though it’s agreed that a Gemini is multi-faceted and perhaps at times even two-faced, they are generally happy, sociable and intelligent with a penchant for multitasking. A Gemini might pick a storage facility with all the amenities. Since they have difficulty making decisions, they might show up at their storage unit and decide what they really need to do is send a fax, or have a coffee, or check their email, so they’ll definitely need a business center. And a manager who is around a lot to chat.
Cancer: June 21-July 22
The nurturing, family-oriented Cancer will need a big unit, nothing less than a 10X20. They’ll have plenty of kid’s stuff to store for their grandchildren and other precious memories and maybe a neatly folded American flag (as backup for the one that flies in their front yard) to fulfill their patriotic side.
Leo: July 23-August 22
Leo might not be the most desired sign, with major traits including self-centeredness and arrogance. But they are also ambitious and logical, so a Leo might choose a storage unit with a low move-in cost (many facilities on Storitz offer a $1 move in) because they’re probably going to be moving into a much bigger place very soon, so a long term storage solution is just not what they’re looking for thankyouverymuch.
Virgo: August 23-September 22
Some might call the Virgo uptight, but she might call herself efficient. Also creative, logical and intelligent. She actually can’t believe you would even call her uptight. How classless. A Virgo could easily make due with a 5×5 unit because she is fastidious and organized and logical so she knows that she isn’t going to need that broken tube TV. But her art supplies? Those are important. She’ll keep those towards the front.
Libra: September 23-October 22
The charming and gentle Libra is fun to be around until you make him wait for something. Since patience is most certainly not one of his virtues, the best bet for a Libra would be a drive up unit – easily accessible by car, no long trips up and down elevators loading and unloading, so he can get in and out and go back to flirting.
Scorpio: October 23-November 21
Dare I say that intense and powerful Scorpio might be a candidate for one of Storitz’s many military discounted storage units? I think I dare.
Sagittarius: November 22-December 21
Optimistic, extroverted and positive, the Sagittarius will throw caution to the wind without considering the consequences. They’ll be looking for the cheapest storage available, no matter how far from home or lacking in features. After all, what’s the worst that could happen??
- OMG, Your Horoscope Sign May Have Just Changed! (businessinsider.com)
- Storitz(TM) Inc., Announces Solutions Partnership with Centershift, Inc. (prweb.com)
- Your Zodiac Sign and Your Tax Refund (suddenlyfrugal.com)